Jollies Made A Right Royal Fool Of Me

Jun 22 2008 Joe Punter

IT'S a poor day when a man can't be master of all he surveys in his own household.

It's an even poorer one when the missus and nipper combine to rip the proverbial out of you because of your paranoia over betting hotpots.

"You're so miserable you wouldn't part with a sneeze," jibed Mrs P after I snubbed every glaring option in a golden Royal Ascot for good things.

And No.1 son did more tittering than a Frankie Howerd sketch when I fielded against such bankers as Aiden O'Brien's glorious treble of Henry the navigator, Duke Of Marmalade and the mighty Yeats.

Each-way value is my mantra - which is all fine and good if you can get a sodding selection placed.

Where's the Doctor and his Tardis when you really need him?

The O'Brien trio were all nailedon certs yet still I ignored them.

I looked for the "value" and failed miserably to find it.

The only crumb of comfort was when the ironically named Bankable went off at the ludicrous odds of 13-8 in the cavalry charge that is the Hunt Cup and could only finish fifth. Frankie Dettori's mount was cattled by the high draw and the mugs who steamed in obviously hadn't factored that.

Next year I will resolve to rid myself of the miser gene curse - then watch as all the jollies flop.

Yours in sport, Victor Meldrew.

GOT a racing query. Write to Joe Punter, Sports Desk, Sunday Mail, Glasgow G3 8DA or email joepunter@sundaymail.co.uk