All-Weather Mince Is A Total Washout

May 18 2008 Joe Punter

IT'S a simple maths equation even a primary school kid could work out.

Take a dire all-weather meeting and add the vagaries of the weather that might attract just a few hundred souls daft enough to watch this mince running in much smaller fields than on the turf.

Inevitably that lot will equal just a handful of bookies willing to turn up.

So it was hardly the revelation of the new millenium when Lord Donoughue, (below left) chairman of the Starting Price Regulatory Commission, revealed punters are being given a raw deal in the Mickey Mouse land of all-weather.

It stands to reason bookies would have to bet to much higher margins at these venues given the miserable turnover they must endure.

His Lordship's solution is A: Fewer poly-track and sand races or B: More bookies and more people attending.

Shockeroony. I opt for A. You could not tempt me to one of these low-grade excuses for a meeting even if a week's R@R at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion was thrown in.

Surely there will come a time when the layers say enough is enough, pull up umbrellas and hopefully lead to these fixtures being re-allocated to proper sport.

POT, kettle and black all sprang to mind during the latest spat between the major bookies and TurfTV at the High Court in London.

Betfred head honcho Fred Done (below right) spat the dummy out big time when he labelled the alternative pictures provider an "illegal cartel".

Now I make no allegations of illegality among his organisation, William Hill or Ladbrokes.

But can anyone explain why the grouping of about three-quarters of the UK's layers fighting for their vested interest is not a cartel?

YOU see some weird and wonderful riding styles in the amateur ranks but young Chris Dawson took the biscuit on hunter chase winner Always Right at Perth on Thursday.

It reminded me of some of the efforts you see at Ascot's military day when the serried ranks of soldiers give it welly with about as much style as Norah Batty.

Don't get me wrong but Dawson got his mount home by 12 lengths through a strange combination of wind-milling legs and sitting right back on his horse's erchie.

In fact he looked just like old Sammy many moons ago in Benidorm when fuelled by several pints of San Mig he decided to tackle the bucking bronco at a theme bar and the mechanical coo won the argument in fives seconds flat!

GOT a racing query? Write to Joe Punter, Sports Desk, Sunday Mail, Glasgow G3 8DA or email joepunter@sundaymailsport.co.uk