Football: Vlad still leading Jambos a merry dance

Sep 2 2007 ROB MACLEAN

AS Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov takes to the floor for a Lithuanian reality telly show, Jambos fans are dancing around a dilemma about their club's future.

If performances and results continue to waltz downhill in spectacular style will they call for a change at the top?

Or would telling the Baltic banker to take a quickstep out of Edinburgh be equivalent to shutting Hearts down because there would be no-one else willing to pick up the giant tab?

Putting a figure on the club debt is as difficult as assessing the scale of Romanov's personal fortune but one informed estimate puts it at more than £40million.

And that's before another £50m is found to give the Tynecastle ground its long-awaited makeover.

Were mad Vlad (below) to walk away and concentrate on Strictly Come Dancing you wouldn't think there would be a lengthy queue of billionaires waiting to take over.

So don't expect Jambos fans to turn up at Fir Park tomorrow night brandishing "Romanov Out" placards.

There's no obvious alternative.

They turned out in good numbers in midweek for the CIS Cup win at Stirling but most are far from happy about their team's start to the season.

And that underwhelming opening could continue against a Motherwell team showing no resemblance to the struggling side that teetered on the brink of relegation last season.

Draws in Aberdeen and at home to Gretna are the only points Hearts have to show so far and, on the back of second and fourth-place finishes, they may struggle to make the SPL top six this time.

Their display at Celtic Park last week, when a 5-0 defeat could have been even worse, was embarrassing.

And just when you expected some transfer fireworks to try to turn the team's fortunes around, there was only the muffled bang of a damp squib going off as the window closed on Friday night.

French Under-21 international striker Christian Nade, signed from Sheffield United, was set to go to Hull before he was redirected to Edinburgh which does not mark him down as the top-drawer recruit supporters were yearning for.

The other two new arrivals hardly set pulses racing either - former Auxerre keeper Anthony Bassoand 16-year-old Austrian winger Elias Wagner who apparently sees better prospects for himself at Hearts than Hibs.

Maybe he can explain to us his reasoning behind those high hopes because no-one else is telling us anything.

Romanov is limbering up with the Lithuanian version of a Come Dancing team and is seldom spotted in Gorgie. The silence from him is deafening.

Would it be too cynical of me to suggest the stadium redevelopment announcement was perfectly timed to turn jeering into cheering and paper over the cracks in his crumbling Hearts plan?

The departure of Czech striker Roman Bednar on loan to West Brom for the rest of the season seems symbolic of a football failure.

Two years ago George Burley told us Bednar was the best young striker he'd ever worked with. Post-Burley, Bednar struggled for fitness and form and we've seen only glimpses of his talent.

So it's one out and three in for Hearts and a couple more shaky pegs required in the changing rooms.

Dozens of players spin through the revolving front door at their Riccarton base.

One day last week I'm told there were 36 of them training.

The emphasis is on quantity rather than quality. Some of the better-paid players have been squeezed out although even the bill for cheaper labour adds up to a crazy total when the squad is so big.

The football operation is shambolic. Assistant head coach Stevie Frail, thankfully for him, is blessed with a sharp sense of humour.

If he didn't laugh he would surely cry.

Frail is in charge of training but has no responsibility for team selection or tactics. The players can't practise set plays unless one of Frail's non-English-speaking superiors is around.

The language difficulties are turning football into a farce on matchdays as well. Hiding behind Frail are Ukrainian sporting director Anatoly Korobochka and Bulgarian coach Angel Chervenkov.

Those two sit in the stand and communicate by mobile phone with an interpreter in the technical area. Quick, clear decisions just don't happen.

When Stevie pressed the honesty button to admit Hearts need one manager rather than a gaggle of coaches he was letting out a cry for help.

It has been one huge missed chance at Tynecastle even allowing for the initial Romanov rescue mission that stopped the sale of the ground and brought one glorious season of success.

Since then, Hearts' on-field performance has descended into freefall.

The supporters are filled with frustration.

They just don't know where they should direct their growing anger.