Scottish Players' Player Of The Year Awards In Glasgow

Apr 20 2008 John Hillcoat

TONIGHT sees the Scottish Players' Player of the Year awards in Glasgow and if it's anything like last year's then the Alcoholics Anonymous hotline will be engaged until Christmas.

I attended as a Brechin player and it was THE best ceremony in all my years as a pro.

It was made all the sweeter when City team-mate Iain Russell scooped the Second Division Player of the Year and was top scorer in the league.

That sparked a stampede for Beany's signature and he eventually moved up a division with his switch to Morton.

You might have thought winning such a prestigious award would at least bring out some sort of personality in a person. But not the bold Beany - as good a striker as he is.

According to the boys at Cappielow, Dean Keenan, Scott McLaughlin and Kieran McAnespie refuse point blank to travel with the former Rangers man as they are finding it almost impossible to fake their laughs these days.

His ultra-boring patter has obviously taken its toll. I know how you feel lads.

Players, coaches and managers from all over Scotland look forward to tonight's shenanigans as it gives everyone who turns up the chance to do a bit of networking and catch up on old times.

This year's bash promises to be the best yet with the two main sponsors, Royal Mail and City Building, giving SPFA supremos Warren Hawke and Fraser Wishart the cash to bring in Irish comedian Frank Carson as the after-dinner entertainment.

Recent reports suggest Carson gives his time for no less than £12,000 a pop but I reckon it's a good deal and the 81-year-old will raise the roof.

Let's hope he doesn't turn out to be as funny as Willie Carson! (It's the way I tell 'em).

The PFA's ceremony has taken a lot of flak in recent years. It was seen as an excuse for some guys to dress up in penguin suits and act like three-year-olds by seeing who could throw their sirloin steak the furthest.

But since Hawke and co took over it has become a lot more respectable.

Nowadays players actually use the urinals instead of a nearby alley or some poor punter's half-full pint glass.

Those who have won this prestigious award in the past will tell you it's the most important gong going.

No disrespect to the SPL or sports writers' awards because clinching any of those is still a magnificent achievement.

But winning a prize that has been compiled from votes by guys you have impressed over the season is undoubtedly the biggest compliment a player could be paid.

This year's First Division winner is a tight one to call but Queen of the South's Steven Dobbie is my favourite to lift the trophy after steering his club in sensational style to the Scottish Cup Final.

Moving down a league and Airdrie's very own Chippendale and prolific scorer Allan Russell, who has attracted SPL interest this season, is my tip for the Second Division gong.

However, Allan will be pushed hard by Ross County's Andy Barrowman, Ayr United's Ryan Stevenson and Queen's Park's Alan Trouten.

The last award is one I have more than a passing interest in and after watching John Baird terrorise Third Division defences this year he gets my vote.

But guys like Zander Sutherland from Elgin, East Stirling's Andy Brand and East Fife defender Jonathan Smart have caused problems for Stenhousemuir so it will be an interesting battle.

Speaking of my club, Stenny, we enjoyed our own awards bash last night.

Defender Craig McEwan and captain Paul "Bucket" Tyrell were named the joint fans' Player of the Year and our top skipper lifted Sportsman of the Year after being recognised for his input at both first and youth team level.

But the big Celtic-supporting Chas 'n' Dave fanatic was almost lost for words as he lifted the Players' Player of the Year trophy.

It's a pity the awards had to stop there because the Stenny lads deserve a medal for putting up with some of the stuff that has been on show since last June.

Take mild-mannered school teacher Ross Hamilton for instance. Hammy would have been a stick-on to scoop the Split Personality of the Year award due to his ranting on the pitch and quiet aura off it.

Needless to say the lads have now named him Irene after Jim Carrey's performance in the film Me, Myself And Irene. A perfect tribute.

And it's a shame there wasn't a Father of the Year prize because Jose Quitongo would have won it hands down. The Angolan brings his two boys to training and they are often seen trying to emulate their dad.

But the other night the pair were caught up to no good as they wandered around in the public five-a-side Portacabins.

Sticking their hands up the opening of the vending machine, the kids were nabbed reaching for the KitKats. Like father, like sons!

'Awards promise to be the best yet'