'Thistle Are Up Against It Now'

Apr 13 2008 John Hillcoat

GROWING up in the 80s was tough and I recall the school hardman offering me a square go because I beat him at 'World Cup Wurly'.

In true Paisley David and Goliath style, I took him up on his offer and found myself in front of 3000 kids all yelling 'FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!'

I don't think I've been more terrified in all my life.

But I had to put up some kind of show if I didn't want to end up being a human punch bag.

I pushed that big Goliath around for about two hours with my pals shouting "just hook him Hilly!".

I felt like I was forever looking over my shoulder in the hope one of my 'so-called' mates would save me.

But it was first blood to my enemy as he produced some kind of karate move that resulted in him holding me in a tight headlock.

My only way out was to squeeze his dangly bits so hard he would collapse in pain but I would rather be battered than go near another chap's family jewels so I stayed locked.

However, in true hero style my teacher at the time Mrs Smilie separated us.

Shewas like Bo Derek in the film "10"(without the dreadlocks and bikini) as she ran in slow motion to pluck me from the war zone.

Finally the one-sided affair was over and I was free.

Big Goliath was lucky my Queen with the duster in her hand was there that day.

I swear to God I would have wangled my way out of that karate move and smashed his lights out. Honest.

It didn't matter how much bigger, stronger and scarier this dude was, I had faced up to him and in the end managed to gain respect from my peers.

It did give me a sense of enormous pride at the time and still does.

The underdog lived to fight another day.

It was around about that time I decided to play in goal as winning a meaningless game of "World Cup Wurly" was both dangerous to your street cred and blood pressure.

But that fight all those years ago was to be a regular occurance throughout my career as a professional keeper.

I have found myself playing the underdog more times than I care to remember.

The feeling of playing against the Old Firm hoping for damage limitation was usually the priority.

Me and my team-mates would always feel so proud if we could finish losing either 2-0 or 3-0.

It's tough but I bet some of the Partick Thistle lads who are waking up this morning with butterflies flying around their stomach will be thinking the exact same thing.

Rangers at any time would be a scary prospect but after Walter Smith's side's heroics in midweek they look unstoppable - they'll play with even more confidence.

Ian McCall's battlers did magnificently well to produce a 1-1 draw at Ibrox a few weeks back.

And today's replay will undoubtedly earn the Maryhill club somemuch needed cash.

But I believe the Jags have had their chance.

It's not too often a smaller club catches one of the Glasgow giants sleeping the second time around.

Guys such as ex-Ayr United midfielder Scott Chaplain and striker Mark Roberts, who has a set of teeth that would put Jim Carey in 'The Mask' to shame, will try their best to shock Rangers.

It would mean they would be the first team to beat Smith's men in 28 outings.

An unbelievable effort from the Ibrox club it has to be said.

But if their luck is anything like mine when it comes to the Old Firm it will be 2-0 after half an hour.

And they'll start hoping that the millionaires decide not to reappear for the second half.

That's exactly what happened when Hamilton took on the might of Rangers in the peak of their nine-in-a-row days.

The game was being beamed live on Sky TV from Firhill stadium and the Rangers team contained Lorenzo Amoruso, Andrei Kanchelskis and Giovanni Van Bronckhorst.

The talk before the game from gaffer Colin Miller was about US having the quality to cause an upset.

But the experienced guys such as Gary Clark, Chris Hillcoat, Eddie Cunnington and Neil Berry knew what we were going to be up against.

We were SIX down with 20 minutes to go and I remember Jonathan Johansson smashing the woodwork which would have made it seven.

The game finished 6-0 and we sneaked out the stadium to face the wrath of our mates who were in the boozer watching the demolition job.

I would have killed for that school bully to have run on the park that day and drag me off in a Houdini headlock in the way only he knows how.

At least it would have been less embarrassing.