Football: St Mirren

Jul 22 2007 JOHN HILLCOAT

IT was great to take a timetrip last week and accept an invitation to play for St Mirren in their debut at the Scottish Masters.

Yours truly and our assistant Brian Hamilton were more than keen to meet up with our old Paisley buddies for the seven-a-side tournament at Braehead Arena.

The winners of the fourteam event would go on to Manchester later in the year to take on the cream of old codgers to play for the British championship.

The clock was turned back to the late eighties when I walked into the dressing room. The last time I saw guys like Tam "Tid" Callaghan, Tommy Turner, Tam Brown, Scott McKenzie and wee Geordie Shaw all in the same place at the same time was at the top of the Glennifer Braes in Paisley. We were spewing our load with Jimmy Bone by our sides plotting our next sickening hill run.

What struck me last week though was the thought that isn't it amazing how some guys will just not accept they are getting older?

Take Shaw for instance. The wee man has been hanging on in sheer desperation for years to the twenty-odd strands of hair he has strategically placed around the top of his noggin as he tries to convince himself that he still has barnet.

The sooner he realises he is a closet slap-head the better - so do yourself a favour wee man. SHAVE IT OFF!

And if you need counselling, give me a call.

Our first game was against a very talented Celtic team that included top guys such as Joe Miller, Darren Jackson and the legendary figure of Frank McAvennie.

It was my first time seeing Macca in the flesh and it has to be said he oozed personality and fun.

But I have to admit that during our opening game 1-1 draw, my thoughts of the world-class defenders and goalkeepers he had tortured throughout the years quickly died like the hairs on wee Geordie's head - and all I could think about was Macca's famous catchphrase "WHERE'S THE BURDS?".

The atmosphere was electric in the Arena and the couple of hundred St Mirren fans did the club proud as usual.

They gave us tremendous backing for out next game against tournament favourites Motherwell.

But an unbelievable show from current St Johnstone gaffer Owen Coyle was just too much for our defenders Ronnie McQuilter and Tam Black as Owen rolled back the years to notch a double.

That win put Well into the Final and a victory for them against Celtic would give us a fighting chance of reaching the showdown providing we defeated Rangers. They were already out of the tourney and their players were dropping like flies due to injury.

However, a goal TEN SECONDS from time against Well was enough for the Hoops to book a final place.

That left St Mirren and a six-man Rangers squad to fight it out for the wooden spoon.

The excellent fitness of Turner and Brown added to the woes of last year's winners as we grabbed a 4-3 triumph.

It meant we missed out on the Final by a single point.

But the night belonged to the 3000 or so great fans who cheered on the entertainment and skill that was evident from guys like Coyle, Robert Prytz and, let's not forget, that legend McAvennie.

Earlier, on the way to Braehead, I received the kind of shattering news that reminds us that football, after all, is only a game.

That afternoon at Ochilview while we were pleasing Stenhousemuir boss Campbell Money with a 5-0 win over Highland League team Nairn County, there was something taking place in the ground that has left everyone at the club shattered.

The players were aware something was going on and we could hear an ambulance speeding to the ground and heading for the back of our tidy wee stand.

But to be honest, my new team-mates and I hardly gave it a second thought after the final whistle as we wrapped ourselves in praise.

Then we learned director Steve Burns had taken a turn for the worst and was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack.

On route to Braehead, I took a phone call from our skipper Steven Ferguson to tell me Mr Burns had lost his fight for life.

Fergie was distraught as was the manager and my No.2 Hammy.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Steve, like most of the club's summer signings, but going by the good things Campbell, Brian and Fergie had to say, he was thought of as a gem of a guy and a Stenny fanatic.

The management and playing staff would like to send their condolences to Steve's wife Lesley and their two sons Craig and Paul.

'Some players can't deal with age'