SPL dimwits in a fix over simple task

Jun 8 2008 Gordon Waddell

THESE days you can simultaneously book a hotel room in New Mexico while listening to the complete works of Gil Scott-Heron and filming a happy-slap street assault - all on a phone smaller than a fag packet.

Yet in this age of technological wonder the SPL can't find a computer that allows them to plan a fixture list with one simple caveat!

What are they using - an abacus? A blackboard and chalk?

Chances are the Old Firm will provide 13 of Scotland's 22-man squad for World Cup group games.

So why is it so hard to key in an algorithm that says the weekend after Scotland games Celtic and Rangers don't play each other?

Given the grief this subject always causes you'd think they'd find a computer-literate four-year-old to sort them out.

When they're doing the fixture list in England they go right down to the last detail in their calculations including whether it's a holiday weekend in Barnsley or if it clashes with a local music festival.

They want to maximise football's potential - notmaximise the chance of World War Three breaking out.

Still, why should we ever expect anything else from them?

NEXT WEEK: SPL learn how to make fire with sticks and rocks...