HomeOpinionColumnistsAlison Craig

January Is The Month Of Control

JUST the one bottle of wine between us, my halo is intact. Read

Strange That National Cuddle Up Day Coincides With The Busiest Week For Divorce Lawyers

Our cuddle consists of me, Dave and the two dogs lounging on the couch Read

My Beloved Tells Me A Platypus Attacked Him As He Slept.. Very Sore Apparently

Alison's Diary Read

There are so many glam women there I wonder if I have been transported to Glasgow

Alison's Diary Read

Some Women Just Aren't Built To Jog.

I'm Ma Broon Enough Round The Chest Without A Joggers' Droop Read

5pm: Stuck on the M8 in traffic

Great Scots start at 6.30 in Glasgow. Despite the early hour, I am buffed, puffed and dressed to kill. Read

The Clue To My Fitness Class Was In The Title

After Just Half An hour, I Was On the Point Of Total. Read

ALISON'S DIARY

PAL PULLS A BRA FROM HER BAG IN A RESTAURANT. THE WAITER'S FACE ON CLOCKING HER OVER-SHOULDER BOULDER-HOLDER IS HYSTERICAL Read

ALISON'S DIARY

AS WE ENTER THE SCOTTISH SLIMMERS HALL WE'RE STRUCK INTO SHOCKED SILENCE, BROUGHT ON BY THOUGHTS OF THE LACK OF CHOCOLATE AHEAD Read

LIFESTYLE: ALISON'S DIARY

LOUIS' APPETITE IS ENORMOUS..HE'S ALWAYS HUNGRY. AT LEAST HIS BIRTHDAY PREZZIE IS SORTED - IT'S A NOSEBAG AND A SHOVEL Read

ALISON'S DIARY

COMEDIAN MICHAEL MCINTYRE SHOULD BE SPONSORED BY A PANTY-PAD FIRM..DYNAMITE WET HER KNICKERS WATCHING HIM Read

ALISON'S DIARY

GET DAVE TO HOLD MY BOOBS UP SO I CAN SEE HOW MUCH I WEIGH WITHOUT THEM..OH MY GOD THEY WEIGH A TON Read

Flew back from my holiday very late last night.

Meet a casting director who is looking for a kid to play robert Carlyle's son. She's terrified when Di offers to don shorts! Read

ALISON'S DIARY

THE SHIP IS ROCKING. I AM SITTING UPRIGHT IN BED AS I IMAGINE THE HEADLINE 'THREE SCOTS DROWN IN ITALIAN FERRY DISASTER' Read

ALISON'S DIARY

WE DECIDE NOT TO DRIVE AND TAKE A TAXI INSTEAD - SHAME THE DRIVER IS EITHER HALF-CUT OR BLIND AS A BAT Read

ALISON'S DIARY

lifestyle SITTING ON THE TERRACE ON HOLIDAY, WE HEAR RUSTLING IN THE FOLIAGE..THEN OUT WALK THREE BEARDY, GRUMPY GOATS Read

LIFESTYLE: ALISON'S DIARY

SPOT A CAR I LIKE IN THE STREET AND STARE AT IT..UNTIL I REALISE THERE ARE TWO GUYS IN IT WHO THINK I'M TRYING TO PICK THEM UP Read

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Sunday Mail writer Alison Craig

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Listen to our Alison Craig's weekly diary Read

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