Alison's Diary

Jun 15 2008

Lifestyle

MONDAY

Have been moved and touched by the number of emails from Sunday Mail readers passing on condolences to my family after I told you last week about the loss of my dad. Thank you all.

I have been spending a lot of time hunched over my laptop reading each one and bubbling as I discover how many of you have also had to face the utter devastation of losing a loved one to cancer. Reading your stories and words of encouragement has given me a lot of comfort. It is impossible to say how much I appreciate them. They mean a great deal.

We had a private cremation for Dad - just Mum, Dave and I. It was what he wanted - "no long faces, no dour colours" he told us.

We played Eddi Reader singing Ae Fond Kiss and The Glens by Scotland The What - a hilarious song about whisky which Dad sang with his banjo ukelele.

TUESDAY

We went to Aberdeen, where our family is from, for a celebration of dad's life. About 100 folk turned up at the hotel and three of Dad's best pals told some great stories.

The atmosphere was one of celebration so I managed to say a few words too. It was a great day and Dad would have loved it.

As evening fell I began eyeing the piano in the bar so went up to play but it was locked. Dave asked the duty manager if we could have the key but he point blank refused. After 10 minutes of negotiation he reluctantly agreed, telling us: "Two songs but that's your lot." Too emotional to argue, I agreed and off he went.

Meanwhile I opened Dad's banjo ukelele case and tentatively picked it up as the duty manager came stomping up, held out his hand and snapped: "Give that to me now! If you don't, you can't have the key to the piano."

Normally I would have had him, but in my emotional state I just burst into tears. Needless to say we will not be going back there...ever.

WEDNESDAY

Got home and rashly went on to the internet and booked Mum and I flights to Majorca, leaving immediately.

The decision to run away was taken very quickly and with Dave's blessing. He just knew whatever we would do, we would do. It seems there are no instructions for this.

We flew to Palma early and rushed about shopping and eating, not stopping to breathe, and after another sleepless night drove up to the west coast of the island.

Suffice to say the rest of the week was quiet and difficult. It became apparent very quickly that you can't run away from grief. So though we read books, lay in the sun, ate food and drank a little wine we both needed to come home.

I checked my emails every day and inevitably there was a chipper update from my dearest pal Dynamite. So I am handing the next bit over to her and I am sure you can see why I love her, she is a diamond.

THURSDAY

Email from Dynamite to Alison: Good Morning Angel Face! Saw Sex And The City with Shona last week. It was great fun but poor Shona had too much to drink and fell over her ankle.

She was so hungover the next day and couldn't walk so didn't make the annual family lunch! We had been drinking cheap cinema wine and cocktails afterwards at the Hudson Hotel in the west end.

Taste at The Meadows was good fun. It was a beautiful night.

Lynne and I sat outside with her friends. They all went to look around but Lynne and I never moved so I couldn't tell you anything about what was going on.

Fi and Calum did a lot of tastings and ate some solids. When will I learn!

Anyway, am going to try and calm down a bit.

Hope you're enjoying the sunshine. Love Dynamite

FRIDAY

Email from Dynamite to Alison: Dear Plum Pot, I'm so glad it's Friday. Am absolutely knackered today. Went to see Iron Man with Oscar last night which was really good and Robert Downey Jr, below, is a fine bit of eye candy! Naturally, we couldn't just go straight home without having a refreshment.

It's been a busy week. On Monday, Fifi Duff and I went to see Eurobeat which was highly camp but very entertaining. Went to see KT Tunstall with Shona on Tuesday. Sadly, we didn't catch sight of her as we glued ourselves to the bar.

I heard KT in the background but couldn't even tell you what she was wearing! I think Shona could have scored with our waiter but declined as she was old enough to have given birth to him!

Anyway, am going to quieten down a bit and have Sunday to myself, go to the gym and get the Sunday papers.

Hope you and your Mum are sleeping all right and bearing up. Remember, it's good to let it all out and have a good greet! Love Dynamite X

SATURDAY

Homesick. Have realised now is not the time to be far away. I need familiar things, people, dogs, places around me.

To be without Dad in Majorca is surreal. I need to be home, close and ready to face what will happen next I hope if I wail, weep and pound my fists and snotter more than anyone has snottered before I may find a way to sleep - to refresh my brain, my head and my heart.

Flying home at lunchtime and I cannot wait to get back to Scotland.