Alison's Diary

Apr 27 2008 By Alison Craig

MONDAY

Pal nips off to see Flashbacks Of AFool starring the rather gorgeous Daniel Craig.

The opening scene is of Daniel in bed with a couple of women before he gets up and walks across the room showing off his magnificent bare bottom.

This report comes from my pal who for obvious reasons shall remain name- less. She confessed Daniel’s rear was so magnificent that she couldn’t
concentrate on the rest of the film as even when it was clad in jeans, she knew it was in there and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

She says she can just about remember what a nude man looks like but she has never seen a man like that. I explain to Dave why I am laughing so much...and his reaction? He reckons it is not Daniel’s bottom at all but a bottom double. Don’t be an ass I say – unless it’s Daniel’s.

TUESDAY

For the past God knows how long I have been signing off emails to those I know well “lol” as I was under the impression it was groovy text-speak for lots of love.

But it has now been pointed out to this email heretic that it actually means laugh out loud.

So all these messages I have been sending and signing off lots of love have actually meant I am laughing out loud at the person instead. I suspect I may have offended quite a number of people over the past few years. Sorry.

I am now writing out words in full and to hell with text lingo. Every time my pal Fiona tells me she is meeting a m8 I think she has a hot date on the motorway. It is only now I realise it is text speak for mate. Really it’s got to stop.

WEDNESDAY

Off to the Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh to see Trumpets And Raspberries translated and adapted by R.C. McAvoy and A.M. Giugni from the play by Dario Fo.

I was a little apprehensive – faced with culture I have been known to hit the bar – but what a laugh. Jimmy Chisholm and  Kath Howden are a great comedy double act with real chemistry.

The play is set in Edinburgh with Fiat’s headquarters at the Gyle There are lots of in jokes including some about city trams which made for some real laugh out loud moments.

In the bar afterwards we agree culture isn’t all bad.

THURSDAY
 
With large glass in hand I enjoy pal Steve Turner’s photographic exhibition at Home House, Edinburgh.

He has been interested in photography since he edited Windsurf magazine 20 years ago but then life, business and kids came along so it went on the back burner. But now he has revisited his passion and put on this exhibition.

All Steve’s profits are going to a wonderful charity called SANDS – Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society. All the pics are limited editions and are flying out of the door but I have already secured mine. They will be in situ for 10 weeks.

FRIDAY

Bumped into Edinburgh restaurateur James Thomson and before I could say: “Hello. How lovely to see you” I just blurted out: “Oh my God you had Kate Moss staying with you at The Witchery. What’s she like?”

“Very slim,” was all he said.

Well she is a supermodel so there’s hardly a revelation in that and despite trying everything in my armoury I couldn’t prise any hot goss out of James at all. This, of course, is precisely why all the A-listers stay at his high-class establishments.

James is discreet and debonair, not like me who would take lots of photos of the celebs after phoning all my friends and telling them to come round and have a good stare.

SATURDAY

My dog is not well. Poor old Flora – I got her from the Cat And Dog Home in 2000 and she had already had a litter of puppies, so she is at least nine and half-dog, half-Womble.

She spent all last night running round the communal gardens chasing a tennis ball that a kid was throwing for her and as a result she is puggled. Her heart is still beating really fast this morning so I took her to the vet.

The Dick Vet is the name of the animal hospital in Edinburgh and when I arrived at the surgery the vet came out and said to the nurse:

“Have you got hold of the Dick yet?” I knew what he meant but I am not so sure about the other woman in the waiting area who looked rather shocked especially when the nurse replied: “Not yet but I’ll keep trying.”