Shattered wife of killer Ben Holding reveals she's standing by him

Jul 20 2008 By Grace Macaskill And Kris Gilmartin

THE shattered wife of a TV executive who murdered his father has revealed she will stand by him - despite helping to get him jailed.

Sarah Holding has already visited husband Ben in prison.

And on her website she poignantly told friends: "To fall in love is simple but to fall out of love is simply awful."

Sarah helped alert police after discovering her seemingly perfect husband had killed his father in cold blood and dumped his body in a wheelie bin.

The STV executive murdered 70-year-old Michael Holding by banging his head against the floor in the utility room of the pensioner's house in Inchmarlo, Banchory, Aberdeenshire.

He told relatives Michael had gone away on a trip - then he went on a £30,000 spending spree with his dad's credit cards.

Michael's body lay undiscovered in the garden shed for almost eight weeks before Sarah, 33, opened the post and realised his credit cards had been used in nearby Banchory.

She confronted Ben, 29, who confessed. Sarah then called her mum who alerted police.

But the stage manager, who once worked at The Byre Theatre in St Andrews, has refused to completely turn her back on her killer husband.

On her website, devastated Sarah says: "Love is not the person u can see yourself with, it's the person you can't see yourself without.

"To fall in love is simple but to fall out of love is simply awful.

We're not here for a long time, dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."

She apparently goes on to talk about people who have turned their back on her, saying: "There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who never did and who always will.

"So don't worry about the people from your past because there is a reason they didn't make it into your future. I have certainly learned this the hard way."

She also thanks friends, saying: "I can't put into words how much I love and am humbled by all those friends and family who have shown me so much love and compassion over the past few months. I would be completely lost without you."

A message from a friend called Leigh said Holding sent another pal a bizarre picture from jail.

She says: "Ben sent Suzie a very cool drawing, we were all very impressed. She had been told to keep them safe, because we expect themto be worth a lot of money someday.

"He certainly has talent. The drawing on the envelope was brilliant but it was of an aggressive-looking rat...what is that all about!"

In a message to another friend, Sarah talks about visiting her man in jail.

Meanwhile, Holding gave a chilling insight into his callous nature on an Internet site.

On his Facebook site, he says his favourite quote is: "Why do you say these things when you know I will kill you for it?"

At the High Court in Edinburgh last week, Holding admitted killing his dad in October last year. He will be sentenced next month.

The Sunday Mail can reveal Holding was due to inherit more than £300,000 from his father.

But under the law, he will now not receive a penny after being forced to sign a disclaimer in jail.

The whole £632,300 estate will now go to Ben's brother Dominic, 26.

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