Madeleine McCann's gran on the family's year of tears

Apr 27 2008 By Grace Macaskill

Exclusive Madeleine: Our Year Of Pain

MADELEINE McCANN'S beloved Scots gran has spoken for the first time about her family's year of torment.

Saturday will mark the first anniversary of Madeleine's abduction in Portugal.

In a heart-breaking interview, Eileen McCanndescribes the pain her son Gerry and daughter-in-law Kate haveendured... and her lasting hope that her lost angel can still be foundalive.

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LITTLE Amelie McCann clambered on to her grandmother's knee, gently touched the chain around her neck and whispered: "That's Madeleine. She's lost."

Eileen McCann struggled to fight back the tears as Amelie's tiny fingers reached for the necklace which carries a picture of her missing sister Madeleine.

Eileen has worn the chain as a constant physical reminder of the little girl so cruelly snatched from her parents on what should have been a treasured family holiday.

It has also given comfort to Madeleine's three-year-old sister.

As the first anniversary of Madeleine's disappearance approaches, Eileen, 67, said: "I was sitting reading Amelie a wee story when she took the necklace in her hand and said those words. I told her: 'Yes, we're trying to find her.'

"I got the necklace as a gift from Kate's mum and my daughter Patricia also got one the same. It means a great deal to me.'

Eileen has few physical reminders of Madeleine aside from her necklace, family photos and a plate which carries Madeleine's tiny hand prints.

The tot placed her hands in paint and printed them on two plates as special gifts for each of her grandmas - Eileen and Sue Healy, who is Kate's mum.

Eileen says Madeleine's twin siblings Sean and Amelie still regularly talk about their sister, despite the 12 long months which have passed since she vanished in Praia du Luz on Portugal's Algarve.

She said: "Kate and Gerry don't have to remind the twins Madeleine is no longer there because they ask where she is all the time.

"They pick up the phone to speak to her and ask, 'Where are you?'"

The passing time has only helped a little to erase the terrible memory of the day which would change the family's lives forever.

Eileen, a former book keeper, said: "The night Madeleine went missing, Gerry called his sister Patricia and asked her to come to my house and tell me what had happened. He was worried about me because I was on my own.

"She arrived around midnight but I was so upset I had to get myself together before I spoke to Gerry at around 2am.

"I spoke to him again at 7am that same day and he said there was no sign of Madeleine. I said, 'She's been taken, pet'. Gerry told me he was positive I was right but the police were treating her as missing.

"I knew Madeleine had been abducted, I just knew it in my heart. She would never have got up and gone off on her own, it just wasn't in her nature.

"She wouldn't have left the twins, she was like a wee mother figure to them.

"If someone lifted her out of bed Madeleine would have screamed the place down. That girl could throw a tantrum if she wanted to and she and the twins were quite shy about meeting new people.

"I just can't imagine what happened."

Eileen described how Gerry tenderly read his children a bedtime story just hours before Madeleine vanished.

She said: "They'd had a really full day because they'd been up early.

"Gerry said he put Madeleine and the twins to bed and read them all a story. He said they were very tired and he almost fell asleep too.

"He and Kate didn't leave until after 8pm and the children were sound asleep. They then checked on them every half hour. Who could have imagined that somebody would take Madeleine as she lay sleeping in her pyjamas?"

Eileen was still recovering from the death of her husband John, who died of cancer in May 2005, when Madeleine vanished. She said: "When I lost John I thought my world has collapsed. But losing Madeleine is 10 times worse because we don't know what's happened to her.

" I know John has gone but somebody came into Maddie's room, carried her out in her pyjamas and we just don't know where she is. It's the stuff of nightmares.

"It's unimaginable. Whoever did this is a monster."

While her son Gerry and wife Kate deal publicly with the unknown fate of their daughter, Eileen's pain is keenly felt behind closed doors at her flat in Newlands, Glasgow.

She is near to tears as she describes how close a bond she felt to Madeleine from the day she was born.

Eileen said: "Madeleine was in my heart from that very first day.

"She was born on a Tuesday and I went down to see her on the Friday.

"I felt I had a really special bond with her.

"One night I took her into my bed to let Gerry and Kate get a sleep and it was just lovely having her lying there next to me.

"When I couldn't get to see her, I would speak to her on the phone."

One of those calls is particularly strong in Eileen's memory.

She said: "When she was two, Madeleine spent Christmas at my house and it was lovely.

"The next year, the family came up for New Year but on Christmas Day Madeleine called and said she'd got a kitchen from Santa. She was very excited and said 'I'm going to make some tea'."

This Christmas was spent without the blonde-haired, green-eyed girl who fills Eileen's life with such joy.

As Kate and Gerry tried desperately to honour festivities for the sake of the twins, Eileen placed a giant pink teddy bear on Madeleine's bed.

Eileen can barely conceal her anger that Kate and Gerry were named suspects by the police in Portugal.

She will not be drawn on how she feels about it, saying: "I can't repeat what I would say about the Portuguese police because it's not printable."

She is hurt by claims that Kate is 'cold' and that the couple could be growing apart as the strain of their missing child takes a tighter grip.

She said: "Kate is anything but cold. She and Gerry are just very dignified.

"Kate is a very capable mother. She is trying to keep life normal for the twins. She takes them to playgroups twice a week. But they are just not a family unit without Madeleine.

"Anyone who knows Gerry and Kate knows that they cherished her, they never lifted a hand to her. I could never imagine either of them hurting her." Of Kate and Gerry's relationship, she said: "They are such a close couple, they are always holding hands and he always calls her honey.

"What nonsense to suggest they are splitting up or have problems. They are very alike and they talk about everything.

"I've never head them row once. The only time I've ever seen Kate have a tantrum was when they were named suspects in Portugal.

"She was so upset. Kate was saying to Gerry: 'It's me they are after, not you'."

Eileen told how her family's closeness has helped them deal with the tragedy.

She said: "It's been very, very difficult. We all miss her terribly but we are a very close family and that helps."

As she continues to cope with the disappearance of Madeleine, Eileen has a strong message for other parents travelling abroad.

She said: "I beg them to hold on tight to their kids. They should keep their eyes open not just for Madeleine but for their own children."

'Kate takes the twins to playgroups twice a week.But they are just not a family unit without Madeleine'.